


Centrifuge

by SalParadiseLost



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: ... well, Assassin Baby, Batfamily (DCU), Brotherly Love, Brothers, Brothers being Shits, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Family, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Jason Todd is a good brother, Tim Drake is a Good Brother, they definitely tease their younger sibling like brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29624505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalParadiseLost/pseuds/SalParadiseLost
Summary: Jason and Tim discover that Damian has never been dizzy before. They seek to remedy that.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Comments: 26
Kudos: 257





	Centrifuge

Damian crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. His breath plumed up in the air around him and he silently wished that he had taken Grayson’s advice and grabbed an additional jacket.

In front of him, Drake and Todd were whispering conspiratorially to themselves, heads bent together. It was one of the few times that he had seen them working together and not immediately at each other’s throats.

It made him suspicious.

Dick nudged him gently, giving Damian one of his big, stupid grins. “How are you feeling about this, Dami?”

Dami sniffled, tilting his head up. “Fine, of course. The training regiment so far has been laughably doable so far. I hope the next exercise is slightly more challenging.”

Grayson snorted, coming to a stop next to their two other brothers as they waited to cross the street. It was nearing sunset and the late afternoon sunlight was turning golden. Gotham looked like a friendly city for a moment, but Damian knew that it wouldn’t last when the sun fully went down. 

Damian watched as the light turned red and the pedestrian sign lit up, signalling that they could walk. Tim and Jason kept leading them forward and into one of Gotham’s smaller parks.

The place was nearly empty except for a couple of joggers, and Damian wondered why on Earth Todd would believe that this was an appropriate place to train.

His suspicion only grew when the colourful beams of the playground came into view.

“No,” Damian growled, face twisting into a frown and coming to a halt. Grayson stuttered to a stop beside him. “This place is for children.”

“Come on, Dami,” Grayson grinned as if pure goodwill could nudge him forward.

“No, it’s humiliating.”

“We’re not using the playground,” Drake cut in, meeting Damian’s eyes with seriousness. He pointed to a set of uneven bars and other outdoor fitness equipment. “They also have exercise equipment here. Things that even the Cave doesn’t have.”

Damian glared, eyes flicked between Drake and the exercise equipment, before stepping forward with a tsk.

“Tt, as if a public park could compare to Father’s accommodations in any way.”

He walked forward, heading towards the exercise equipment with Grayson following close behind.

He passed Drake and Todd, and because of that, he didn’t see them grin evilly to themselves.

_**_

Jason literally couldn’t believe that this was working.

This was the best day of his life. The sun was shining, and the birds were singing, and the Demon Brat had fallen hook, line and sinker for Tim’s stupid exercise equipment line.

Earlier today, they found out that Damian had never been dizzy before and now they were here. At a fucking playground. About to get the kid in one of those spinner bowls.

Tim was standing next to the playground equipment, seriously cajoling Damian along in the plan. The brat still had a look of skepticism, but he wasn’t outright resisting, which was honestly better than Jason could have ever hoped for.

Dick opened his mouth, probably to reveal the scheme just like the buzzkill he was, but Tim cut him off before he could.

“This is just like what NASA does to train their astronauts,” Tim said, patting the red spinner, “it’s an easier method than making Bruce buy an entire facility. We’ve all done it to test our response to torque and inertia. Having quick reflexes will be key”

Damian nodded, “I understand. I am sure that I will exceed just as I have exceeded in all other training exercises.”

“Of course,” Tim turned, smirking to Jason in a way Damian couldn’t see. Jason smirked back, keeping in all his laughter.

This was going to be so good.

“Now, all you do is sit here,” Tim tapped the bottom of the spin cup. “and then, Jason is going to spin you.”

Damian’s head snapped up, glaring at Jason through hard, green eyes. “You didn’t tell me that Todd was going to be part of this,” he sneered.

Jason was in too good of a mood to rise to the bait though. He just crossed his arms and rocked back on his heels. “Do you want to complete the training exercise or not? Bruce is going to asking for the test results.”

The kid’s tiny glare deepened, making him look like a furious kitten, and eventually, he relented, sitting in the bowl.

“I am prepared, Todd,” he said grimly as if they were about to start some kind of advanced medical procedure.

Jason had to physically force himself to not break out laughing. It was taking all his willpower. He was pretty sure staving off Pit anger was easier than not laughing when he saw his baby assassin brother pouting in a bowl.

Tim nodded, held up a phone to record their “results” and waved a hand at Jason. Dick stood a small distance to the side, obviously torn between encouraging this and acting like an adult.

But he didn’t say anything, so Jason stalked forward.

He smiled, gripped the edges of the bowl, and then whipped the kid as hard as he fucking could.

The bowl was instantly spinning, red plastic and baby assassin becoming one single blur. The sinner cup achieved speeds previously unknown to man and the metal creaked and whined. Jason physically couldn’t get the bowl to move any faster, but he kept spinning it with absolutely no mercy.

Tim was snickering, capturing every moment of it on the phone and occasionally yelling at Jason to go faster. Dick, at least, looked a little bit guilty about walking his baby brother right into this situation.

“Okay, Jay, I think that’s enough,” he said, uneasily shifting his position. “Give the kid a break.”

“Yes, Jason, give the kid a break,” Tim repeated, but he sounded a lot less nice about it.

Jason smirked, grabbing the red plastic and forcing it to a sudden stop.

The kid’s entire body jerked, and he bonelessly flopped in the spinner bowl. His dazed eyes stared at the sky before he forced them into a glare.

“That wasn’t so bad,” he scoffed, even though he looked slightly ill, “I don’t understand why—”

He tried to stand out of the spinner bowl…

And promptly fell flat on his face.

There was a silence before suddenly Jason was laughing harder than he had ever laughed in his life. His sides hurt, his bellyached, and he could hardly force himself to breathe through the sheer force of the laughter.

Tim was just on the ground, struggling to record Damian and clutch his stomach at the same time.

Dick was trying to help Damian up, but could hardly stand up himself because he was bent over laughing.

“Todd!” Damian shrieked from the ground, limbs flailing. He tried to stand, and flopped onto his belly, making Jason dissolve in another peal of laughter. “I am going to _kill_ you.”

He probably would have been threatening if he didn’t look like a drunk sailor.

“Sure, demon spawn, if you can stand.”

The kid let out a vicious growl, taking Dick’s arm and trying to use to stand. He shakily got his feet under him, the limbs swaying dangerously. With a snarl, he tried to launch himself at Jason, but only managed to tip sideways and flop on his side like a breaching whale.

“Todd, when the world stops spinning you are a dead man,” he snarled into the playground’s woodchips.

“Been there and done that,” Jason scoffed, ruffling the kid’s hair. The boy whipped a hand out to catch Jason’s ankle, but even his arm flopped in an uncoordinated jerk.

“And I’m not looking forward to doing it again, so I think that’s our cue Tim.” Jason said, walking past the collapsed Damian, and Dick who was still trying to help him between his own laughter.

Tim perked, ending the recording and hastily coming to Jason’s side.

Damian’s scowl deepened, and his uncoordinated movements increased as he realised Jason and Tim were making their getaway. He finally managed to get up, but he had to lean heavily into Dick to do it.

“Todd, Drake, do not run like cowards!” He screamed but didn’t dare to take another step forward.

“At least we can run,” Tim snarked back as they ran out of the park to the bike Jason had hidden around the corner. “And I’m sending the video to the entire family.”

Jason laughed again, ignoring Damian screaming about how he would “skin your miserable hides and make you wish for something as sweet as death” in the background.

He had no doubt that the Demon would find his revenge, but not before the video was posted to every social media imaginable and watched a million times first.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a quick rough and dirty fic that was inspired by a [ video ](https://salparadiselost.tumblr.com/post/643791197217947648/runcibility-smellmyhead-unwinona.com) I saw on tumblr, that always has me laughing in tears. I hope this story put a smile on your face! 
> 
> You can visit my tumblr at [ SalParadiseLost ](https://salparadiselost.tumblr.com) where I post tumblr things and general writing musings.
> 
> Please leave a kudos and comment! Flattery gets you everywhere.


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